


Happy Tears

by Athleticom20



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Car Accidents, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-31 23:27:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10909638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athleticom20/pseuds/Athleticom20
Summary: Tobin finds Christen in tears... but why?





	1. Happy Tears

**Author's Note:**

> I was considering developing this story further based on the reaction it receives. I could do several chapters that lead up to this chapter and then let the story play out.

“Babe!” Tobin Heath shouts from downstairs. She is looking for her soccer bag, knowing right where she left it but it seems to have been moved. 

“Honey!!” She draws out again when she gets no response. 

“Hey sweetie!” When Tobin receives silence yet again, she resorts to the last action she believes might get her wife’s attention. If this doesn’t work, Christen might as well be dead because she always answers to this. 

“CHRISTEN ANNEMARIE PRESS!” Shouting Christen’s full name at the top of her lungs usually gets her wife’s attention because that’s when Tobin is being serious. And serious Tobin comes around only when necessary, so Christen knows she better listen when her full name rolls off of Tobin’s tongue.

Tobin hears silence yet again. The full name calling didn’t work. It always works. Tobin panics, all thoughts about the missing soccer bag and practice thrown aside. 

She takes off running up the stairs with a million thoughts circling her brain. ‘She was already out of the shower, so I know she have heard me.’ ‘So what if she isn’t answering me because she just hates me now. No, that’s stupid because she tells and shows me she loves me constantly. That means she is hurt.’ ‘What if our new puppy Maverick accidentally tripped her and she knocked her head on the corner of the dresser and is now lying unconscious bleeding out.’ ‘What if she had a heart attack! Wait no, she probably didn’t have a heart attack, she is so healthy and her family doesn’t have a history of heart attacks at a young age. But I mean it could still happen, right?’ 

It’s amazing that all of these thoughts can run through the human brain in the time it takes a professional athlete to climb only fifteen stairs. Luckily, all of Tobin’s scenarios are put to rest when she reaches their bedroom. 

“Hey babe, I’ve been calling out for you and you never answered me. I can’t find my soccer b….”

Tobin stops dead in her tracks. When she first walked into the room she registered that Christen was alive and breathing. That was enough to put her chaotic thoughts to rest and regroup her mind about getting them to practice on time. However, now she is concerned again because when Christen looks up to Tobin in mid-sentence, Christen has multiple tear streaks along her cheeks. 

Tobin rushes to sit on the bed next to her and immediately comforts her. She wraps an arm around her back to rub soothing circles and leans in to give her a kiss on her temple. If Tobin has learned one thing about her wife in two years of marriage and three years of dating, which Tobin was ready to marry this girl after a month of dating, it is that Christen will talk when she is ready. So Tobin comforts her wife to the best of her ability all while staying silent and having her mind run wild again. 

After a few minutes of comfort, Christen finally has the courage to speak up.

“Hi Tobes.” Her voice is so soft that Tobin almost misses it.

“Hey, there my beautiful wife is, why don’t you tell me what’s got you so upset?”

“Oh no,” Christen’s voice is more exuberant now than it was just a few moments ago, “Babe, I’m not upset. That’s not why I was crying.”

Tobin is really confused and this whole situation is starting to take its toll on her so she replies, “Okay, well why don’t you help me out here and tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, hmm?”

Christen doesn’t know how to tell her. Tobin should be expecting this, right? They’ve talked about it and although she seems nervous about what could be, Tobin was always so vocal in her opinion about it. I mean she wouldn’t have agreed to the arrangement if she wasn’t absolutely sure with this. She realizes Tobin wants this. And Christen wants nothing more than to do this with her best friend and wife. 

“They are happy tears. I’m pregnant.” 

Tobin’s smile is the biggest Christen has ever seen it. Christen knows in that moment, she fell in love with her wife all over again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter of fun and bliss because Christen is pregnant.

Tobin can’t believe what she just heard. She repeats what her wife just said, but with more of a questionable tone, “You’re pregnant?”

“Yeah babe, we are going to be mothers,” Christen confirms with a smile just as big as Tobin’s. 

The two fall into a comfortable silence and just stare at each other as quite possibly the best news they’ve ever encountered together sinks in. With this euphoric feeling washed over the two, Christen tries to begin to comprehend how she got so lucky. She can’t simply understand why she is privileged enough to be the one waking up every morning to this beautiful face currently beaming back at her, why she gets the honor of calling Tobin her wife, why she is the one who is peppered with kisses daily by those soothing lips, and now why she is fortunate enough to raise a child with the love of her life.

Christen decides she needs to express all of this gratitude towards Tobin, but all that ends up being whispered in a dream-like state is, “I love you.”

Tobin, who was paralleling much of Christen’s thinking, snaps out of her own thoughts and murmurs, “I love you too, Chris, so much,” just before finally giving Christen a passionate kiss. The two stay sharing their love for one another for several more minutes before a realization dawns upon the New Jersey native. 

Breaking their cocoon of happiness, Tobin says, “So does this mean that your soccer season is going to come to a close faster than expected?” 

“Well, I’ll have to talk to the team physician but I am pretty sure I can play for at least a little while since I am still so early in the pregnancy. You’re just worried I’m not going to be up front to get you all of those assists anymore, “ Christen smirks as she watches her wife perk up her eyebrows.

“I mean of course I am going to miss my favorite forward getting me those assists like nobody’s business, but honestly that wasn’t why I asked. You are now carrying our child and I refuse to let any harm be inflicted upon you or that precious baby. I can’t be risking the health and well-being of my two favorite people!” Tobin excitedly exclaims to confirm her seriousness in the matter.

Christen laughs, but she knows Tobin truly is speaking from the heart and wants nothing more than for her and the baby to be safe. 

“Does this mean I might wake up one morning with bubble wrap covering my entire body again?”

Christen thinks back to a particular Saturday morning where she rolled over only to be met by a squishy, rubbery feeling around her arms, legs, and forehead. Not to mention the several pops that escaped her newfound body armor. 

“Hey! If you wouldn’t have tried to slide tackle Allie when our defense broke down, you wouldn’t have gotten that concussion, and I wouldn’t have had to take matters into my own hands. You rightfully deserved that treatment.” Tobin grins, still satisfied that she managed to successfully pull off that stunt without waking her snoring sleeping beauty. 

Christen sends Tobin another toothy grin, “You’re going to be very protective of our little one aren’t you…”

“You bet I am,” Tobin proudly confirms, “and you better believe while that little kiddo is calling you home, you are going to be protected and cared for even more!”

“Tobin I don’t even know if that is possible!” Christen exclaims because she knows her wife is already the most caring and thoughtful person she has ever come across. Christen ponders again how she is the lucky one who gets to have Tobin Heath by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are having a good day/night and enjoyed this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will breaking the news to Coach go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

The couple walks into Providence Park together ready to face the questioning of both their teammates and, more importantly, the coaching staff. After discussing how they should handle missing practice (they never miss practice so they know everyone will be expecting something fairly important), they came to the conclusion that it would be best to just inform only absolutely necessary people about the baby in terms of people in their soccer world. Outside of Coach Parsons, the assistant coaches, and the athletic training staff, their lips would be sealed to the rest of the team and the fans. It’s merely a precaution until Christen and the baby are further along and there are no complications. Not that they are expecting any. 

Christen has a giddiness to her. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Tobin.

“Are you all good over there? Because the incessant bouncing of your leg in the car and you squeezing my hand until my fingers turned purple in the Jeep tell me you’re a bit nervous for this,” Tobin claimed.

Christen looks over at her wife while they walk into the main offices, luckily avoiding all of their teammates on the way in to the stadium. They didn’t arrive an hour and a half early to simply break the news, but also to evade their prying teammates raid of questions. 

“Luckily you don’t need your hands to play soccer, so I’ll never be too sorry about holding my wife’s hand for the comfort I need. But of course I’m nervous, aren’t you?” Christen rapidly continued, “No telling what Coach is going to say! I mean this was kind of our breakthrough year. Me and you, taking the team to the NWSL Finals, bringing home the trophy. That’s been clear from Coach from the beginning. I know the three of us have a very high mutual respect for each other, but I guess I’m just a bit apprehensive about how he is going to take this news is all.” 

Tobin didn’t have the time to calm down her wife’s worries because in the time it took Christen to explain, they had arrived at their destination. Coach Parson’s office. Tobin side-glanced to Christen, duplicated her deep breath, and then gathered up the courage to knock on the door.

“Come in!” was audible through the door with opaque glass marked with the team’s logo.

The pair walk through the door and are met with five different pairs of eyes glued to them. Coach Parsons, the two assistant coaches, and the two head athletic trainers don’t say a word as they come to a stop in front of the large desk. So Tobin, always taking the lead for the two of them in situations like this, is the first to speak.

“We just wanted to thank you all meeting with us today when we called. We know that we missed practice yesterday, something that is rare for both of us, and we just want you to know that it was completely unintentional. There is a very good reason as to why we were absent,” Tobin confessed. 

‘Wow,’ Tobin thought, ‘I don’t know where all that just came from, but that sounded pretty professional if I do say so myself. Great job Tobin, keep it up,’ Tobin mentally gave herself a pat on the back for her efforts in such a critical meeting. Most of the time she would jumble her words up and start stuttering when conversing so purposefully. 

Coach Parsons raises one eyebrow and with a bleak tone sighed, “Well, let’s hear…”

Before Coach Parsons can even finish the sentence and Tobin can even begin to formulate an articulate response, Christen squeals, “I’M PREGNANT!”

The unexpected burst from Christen definitely surprised her. The pent-up news just had her on edge ever since walking into the office and she couldn’t suppress it for even a second longer, clearly. 

Meanwhile Tobin is just thankful for the sudden proclamation because her confident diction and perfect enunciation would have been reduced to her usual stammering from that look Parsons gave them. Her wife never fails to save her. 

Now, silence has filled the room. The five faces on the opposite side of the room look shocked, dumbfounded, mystified, and downright befuddled. Not a single one has a smile or even a hint of a grin. 

‘Well, this is going great,’ Tobin thinks.

“This is the only reason you both missed practice and called this meeting?” Coach Parsons finally breaks the lull in conversation much to Tobin and Christen’s delight. But his statement now had them left with confused expressions. 

Christen clears her throat. She can sense Tobin isn’t going to be able to properly communicate right now so she begins, “Uhm, yeah. We just found out yesterday right before practice and with our emotions running high about a new baby and starting a family together all thoughts about practice were thrown aside. We were just really happy and we know this is going to put a change in plans for the team and it is completely unexpected for you all but we just thought…” Christen trails off her rambling as massive smiles grace the faces of the others in the room.

“No no no! Christen, slow down, “ Coach pleads. “Congratulations to you two!”

Everybody joins in on the congratulations and shuffling around the room to properly hug the happy, and expecting, couple. Tobin and Christen share a look that puts them both at ease, because congratulatory hugs and smiles were what they were ultimately hoping for when they walked in today to break the news. The had expected the meeting to end up like this, but Tobin’s curious as to why Coach and the staff were first so hesitant and almost put-off with them missing practice and meeting with them. This entire organization is so close and truly is like a big family, so to say Christen and Tobin were a little shocked by the less than welcoming start would be a bit of an understatement.

“Hey Coach,” Tobin finally found her voice again, “is there a particular reason after Christen here basically shouted that we were expecting you said ‘is this the only reason for the meeting?’”

Coach Parsons face reddens. His face never even flushes; this ought to be good. He looks around to his staff as if looking for someone to speak up for him, but no one comes to his rescue. He rubs the back of his neck and suddenly finds great interest in the pattern of the carpeted floor.

“We kind of thought you missed practice and called this meeting to tell us that you were looking to switch to another team in the league,” Coach sheepishly says.

Simultaneously, Tobin and Christen nearly shout, “You what?!”

Coach looks up and explains, “You guys never miss a practice and I guess our minds automatically went to the worst case scenario. Look, both of you are invaluable to this team. You two are the co-captains of our team, you both are role models to everyone from your teammates to the fans, and not to mention our win and loss record lives and dies by your performances. We can’t afford to lose you both to another organization, so you could imagine that we were not too thrilled with this meeting with that horrible mindset.”

Christen pipes up first. “Listen Coach, between all of us standing here, this organization is it for the both of us. We have dug roots here in Portland and now with Baby Heath on the way, we definitely aren’t looking to relocate any time soon. You all and the team are basically our family away from our actual families. We both love it here and we plan to stay for as long as we are welcome here.”

‘Christen’s just so eloquent,’ Tobin dreamily praises of her wife as she watches her speak, ‘Not to mention she is damn fine.’

Coach breaks Tobin’s daydream and calls back her attention to the matter at hand. “I’m really glad to hear that, because you both will have a spot on this roster for as long as I have a say in it.” Tobin feels a wave of relief wash over her body. Coach adds, “As for the pregnancy, Christen we will be more than happy to work with you as you move along and we will keep this just between us currently present in the room. We really are extremely happy for the both of you.”

The couple later find themselves walking out of practice holding hands. As they were walking into the stadium, plenty of unknowns about the inevitable meeting and practice circled their brains. Now walking out, they were both utterly satisfied with how the day transpired. Although they got several questions from their teammates, they were able to conceal the true reason for being absent. It wasn’t easy, but their joyous secret was safe. For now, anyways. 

Reflecting on the meeting, Tobin recalled one tiny instant. She comes to an abrupt halt in the middle of the parking lot, taking Christen by surprise and making her jolt backwards. Christen, clearly annoyed, huffs, “Babe, how about a little warning next time you want to pull my arm out of its socket.”

Evidently with more pressing matters on her mind, Tobin disregards Christen’s badgering and quietly mumbles something.

Unable to clearly decipher what Tobin says, Christen asks her suddenly shy wife to repeat herself.

“Baby Heath,” Tobin repeats, but this time Christen is able to fully understand her. “That is what you called the baby in the meeting.”

It just came out so naturally at the time, Christen really hadn’t even registered that is what she said. She knows that she did in fact say ‘Baby Heath’, but she didn’t think Tobin would think it was a big deal. “Is th-that not okay?” Christen is suddenly petrified now that Tobin has brought this up.

With her eyes looking anywhere but at Christen’s, Tobin timidly replies, “You really want to use my last name when referencing our baby?”

Christen now understands why her wife is suddenly so shy. 

“Tobs, please look at me.”

Once Christen is met with those gorgeous amber brown orbs she continually falls in love with, she lays to rest any and all doubts her wife could possibly have about her earlier statement.

“Tobin, I absolutely want this baby to take on your last name. A second alternative never even crossed my mind. I know people still use Press as my last name and I wear that on my soccer jersey, but that’s more for commercial reasons than anything. The day I married you, I became Christen Heath. I try to represent this last name to the best of my ability because I have so much to live up to thanks to you. I would never want a different last name than yours. Each day I feel honored, blessed, and privileged to be able to say I am a Heath. So yeah, of course our baby is going to have our last name.”

“Have I mentioned I love you lately? Because I really, really do,” Tobin hums as she brings her wife in for a passionate kiss.

When Christen has to break for air, she dreamily admits, “Yes, you constantly remind me. But I will never get tired of hearing you say it.”

“Good, because for everyday as long as I live I will tell you.” Tobin pauses, basking in this lovely moment with her favorite person. As they begin walking again towards their parked car, she intuitively adds, “Ya know, The Heath Family really does have a nice ring to it.”

Christen breaks out into a smile that crinkles her eyes and reaches her ears; her signature indicator of pure happiness. “It really does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please feel free to leave comments. It's always fun to see what you all think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin gets parenthood jitters.

Christen and Tobin are sitting on the couch together, Tobin’s head in Christen’s lap, as they listen to the calming sound of the rain beating against their windows. Both women can feel their exhausted muscles tightening as they lay, but they are too content with the cozy atmosphere and the comfort of one another to do anything about it. 

The day began for the two when the sun rose, going out to grab some coffee and a nice, hearty breakfast. This has been the game day routine for them ever since they’ve played on the same team together, so by now it is well-versed. They decided to take along their puppy, Maverick, for a nice walk in the park following their meal and then they headed to the stadium to prepare for the day’s game. Their opponent was Boston and they proved to be quite the adversaries as the game ended in a 2-2 draw after a hard fought battle on both ends. Tobin played the full ninety minutes as did Christen. But it was Christen’s last game of the season. Baby Heath is due in just a few short months. 

Tobin rolls her head over to take a glance towards the fireplace, where she finds their tired puppy snoozing beside the crackling fire. She knows the puppy is afraid of storms, but even with the howling wind and the rain picking up outside, he succumbed to sleep as chasing butterflies earlier left him drained. She smiles at the sight because as much as she now loves this puppy, she still can’t believe Christen managed to talk her into letting them have a dog. If Tobin’s being completely honest though, she knows she can’t deny her wife anything.

“What are you smiling at?” Christen whispers as she runs her fingers through Tobin’s hair.

Tobin brings her eyes back up as she is met with those calm, gorgeous green-gray eyes she knows so well. “I’m just thinking about you,” she hums as her wife continues to play with her hair. 

Suddenly an immense clap of thunder rattles the entire house, shaking the windows and effectively cutting out the power. The once snoozing puppy is now wide awake and whimpering as the local tornado sirens blast a shrill noise through the air. Maverick is visibly shaking from their spot on the couch. 

From the light of the fire, Tobin reluctantly gets up from her warm spot on the couch to pick up the puppy. “Hey there buddy, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” she coos to the dog in a feeble attempt to get him to quiet down. The rain keeps pouring, the thunder keeps rolling, the lightning keeps striking, and the puppy keeps shaking. Even after roughly ten minutes of trying to calm Mav, he continues to cry and whimper despite Tobin’s best efforts. 

While Tobin is walking around trying to calm the dog, Christen sets up candles throughout the house to make it glow ominously. Once they can clearly see around the home, she sits back down on the couch to observe Tobin with the puppy. Christen, now the one with a goofy smile sporting her face over her wife, is eating up Tobin with their precious dog. Tobin is being so protective over him and is nurturing the poor puppy as if it were a child. 

Christen thinks to herself, ‘It won’t be long until that actually is our baby boy or girl in her arms. If I’m already melting over her and the puppy, there’s no telling how precious she will look with our baby.’

“Here, you try,” Tobin gently shoves the puppy into Christen’s arms, effectively pulling her out of her daydream. 

In less than a minute, Christen has Maverick back to snoozing despite the raging storm continuing outside. Thinking the feat would have Tobin excited, she looks over to her wife but the face she is met with in return isn’t what she expected at all. Tobin has a worried expression, with her eyebrows creased and a slight frown. When she notices Christen looking at her, she gets up to walk into the kitchen. Not really understanding why Tobin is suddenly acting this way (Tobin loves storms, so Christen knows it is unrelated to the weather), Christen lays the puppy back in his bed and then dutifully follows in Tobin’s wake to find her pacing in the kitchen.

She quietly admires the tan girl from her spot while leaning against the door frame before speaking up. Christen always loves to just watch her wife, in all moments of life. She just finds Tobin so inherently good and she always feels so lucky to be the one to share life with her. Watching her wife will always be one of her favorite things to do.

“So, I got the puppy to settle down,” Christen decides to speak up into the candle-lit kitchen. She walks towards her still brooding wife, hoping to calm her down enough so that she will finally vocalize why the sudden change in her mood. Christen, knowing Tobin all too well, thinks she has a pretty good idea as to why Tobin is behaving like this, but she wants Tobin to have her own voice rather than pushing the revelation on her. 

Tobin huffs out her breath and then snaps, “I know. Thank you for reminding me.” Tobin walks over to the countertop and places her hands on the edge, bracing herself against the cold granite. She traces the patterns as her mind still runs wild, something she has let it grown accustomed to lately. 

Knowing that Tobin likes comfort, Christen walks behind the girl and wraps her arms around her waist and places her head in the middle of her back. The warmth from Tobin is comforting to her as well as the heat from the fireplace doesn’t extend into the frigid kitchen.

“I didn’t mean that. I shouldn’t have snapped at you, I’m sorry babe,” Tobin finally sighs.

“I know, you don’t have to apologize to me. But you could tell me what caused you to become so upset so fast.”

Tobin maneuvers herself so now her back is leaning against the counter and she is staring at her favorite person on the earth. Christen still has her hands around Tobin’s waist while Tobin’s run up and down Christen’s arms trying to keep her wife warm after she noticed her goosebumps. 

Tobin attempts to gather her thoughts to give an explanation to Christen, but she just doesn’t know what to tell her. She tried to put Maverick at ease for fifteen minutes only to be unsuccessful, but the minute she handed him off to Christen the puppy went right back to sleep. That small instance made Tobin begin to think that maybe she wasn’t cut out for motherhood. Maybe she wasn’t ready for this baby. Maybe she wouldn’t be good enough to raise a child. She didn’t want to be responsible for creating a poor childhood for an innocent baby, let alone Christen’s baby too. How do you tell your wife all of those doubts?

“Maybe I just became suddenly apprehensive about my parenting skills,” Tobin settles on saying. 

‘Ding, ding, ding!’ Christen thinks. ‘I knew it.’

“Why are you smirking?!” Tobin gawks at Christen. “This definitely is not a laughing matter, I’m being serious!”

Christen continues to smile, “Oh honey, I really think you should stop doubting yourself and begin to give yourself the credit you deserve.”

Tobin squints, not fully agreeing with those delicate eyes looking back at her. She stays quiet not really sure what to say. When Christen understands Tobin is unsure of how to take the comment, she elaborates.

“Tobes, just because you couldn’t calm a puppy doesn’t mean you are going to be any less of a mother to our baby. You are going to be an amazing mother; I have no doubt about it. And do you know why I don’t have a single doubt?” 

“Why?” Tobin timidly asks, clearly in need of some self-assurance.

Christen thinks of all the times she has seen Tobin interact with Ryan and Tyler, Tobin’s two best friends’ children, and she can’t believe she still thinks her wife has these doubts. “Every time you play with Ryan and Tyler or get them to calm down after falling or I catch you reading them a bedtime story when they spend the night with us, that is exactly how I know you will be nothing short of an amazing mother. Tobin, you make those kids so happy and they learn so much from you. You are held on such a high pedestal in their eyes and they want nothing more than to be like their Aunt Toby. And if you didn’t notice, I slipped Maverick a new bone. That probably had something to do with him falling back into a slumber.”

“You’re joking,” Tobin deadpans.

Taken surprise by Tobin’s response, Christen can’t believe talking about Ryan and Tyler didn’t get through to Tobin’s head. She thought that was a sure way to calm her wife’s nerves over parenthood.

Christen tries again, “Tobin, you’re so great with them. How could seriously not think…” Christen stops speaking when she notices Tobin shaking her head.

“No, I mean you’re joking about our little puppy in there only needed his bone to be calm? That would’ve been great to know when he was shaking and whining in my arms forever!” Tobin just laughs, because she definitely should’ve been smart enough to think of something so simple.

“Yeah babe, that’s all he needed. I thought you saw me give it to him,” Christen responds. “So, are you nerves all settled now? No more doubting yourself right?”

“Yes, I think I am good thanks to you.” Tobin leans in to give her wife an appreciative kiss on the cheek. With just candles surrounding them and the sound of the rain, Christen decides to take advantage of the ambiance in the room. Christen takes Tobin’s face in her hands and brings Tobin’s lips to hers for a sexy little kissing fest. When they break apart, Tobin’s head is spinning from being so engulfed in everything that is the dark-haired girl that never fails to amaze her. She looks at her wife with an adorable face and shares a final thought on the matter, “But, you’ll still be with me every step of the way with our baby right?” 

“I have no place I’d rather be,” Christen affirms. Just like that, Tobin knows everything will be just fine as they welcome their baby into this world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tobin needing to be reassured by Christen seems to be a common theme... but thinks are definitely going to take a turn!
> 
> Let me know what you think! You guys are awesome and I hope you have an incredible day :)


	5. Chapter 5

“Dancing on the line of a dangerous love  
You could break me overnight  
But there's no one like us  
Insatiably insane  
Equally exchanged

Dancing in the light  
Of a canyon sun  
Racing every wave  
Going North on the one  
The promises we make  
I still haven't changed

Baby, come back  
I know my way around your heart  
Don't start thinking  
Things have kinda changed  
They're different from what they are  
You know better  
That nothing is better than what we felt together at home  
You can find me”

Tobin continues to sing and dance around the kitchen to the upbeat Lany song as she prepares dinner for her very pregnant wife. Christen has had a smooth pregnancy, of course Tobin has been there hand and foot. Christen has been out for their soccer club conducting business all day; if she can’t play soccer whilst being pregnant, at least she can be productive for the team and assist in developing the young stars around the Portland area.

It’s a picture perfect day. As Tobin moves to the sink to wash off some fresh vegetables, she looks out the window to their backyard to see Maverick running around the yard, crisp and colorful flowers, freshly cut grass, and a stunning sunset that has the sky a plethora of shades. Pinks, purples, yellows, and beautiful streaks of red and orange create a sunset that reminds Tobin why she loves to call this place her home. She loves the area and it has always seemed to love her.

She continues to pass the time waiting for her wife to get home by setting the table, pouring herself a glass of wine and Christen some sparkling cider, non-alcoholic of course. A quiet dinner at home has been on both of their minds all week, as Tobin’s been traveling for soccer and Christen has been anxious to have her back in her arms. So Tobin takes it a step further and lights candles throughout the house. The warm, inviting scent that fills the air creates just the perfect atmosphere for a romantic dinner. Tobin hears the timer go off on the oven signaling the main course is ready. She begins to plate the food seeing the time is already 7:40 and knowing Christen said she would be home at 7:30. She understands running a few minutes behind when soccer obligations have you on duty. It’s very easy to get caught up in working with the younger girls, so she doesn’t think much of a ten-minute delay.

However, Tobin does start to worry when ten minutes turns into half an hour. Christen always calls if she is going to be late, not that the prompt girl is usually late but it happens from time to time. Tobin takes a rather large gulp of wine and grabs her phone to call her. Unfortunately, Tobin is only met with Christen’s voicemail. Again, unusual. 

‘Okay, she is probably still just with the kids out practicing. I’ll call the stadium and see if anyone can find her for me,” Tobin thinks. She goes to dial the phone number for Providence Park but she can’t help but notice how her stomach is in a knot and her hands are slightly shaking. She just has that feeling. The feeling you get when something inevitably is going to occur and not in your favor. 

She calls the stadium and gets ahold of Rick, the man who lets certified people into the back-entrance gate. Rick says Christen left around an hour ago. 

Tobin hangs up the phone without even a ‘goodbye’; she does the math in her head. It’s currently 8:20 in the evening, meaning if Christen left an hour ago from the stadium she would have been right on their scheduled time to have dinner at 7:30 since they have a convenient ten minute commute home. 

Tobin doesn’t have time to make her next move when her cellphone starts ringing in her hand. It’s an unknown number. She never answers calls from phone numbers she doesn’t recognize. Too early in her career did she get avid fans calling her to either gush over her or just prank her. She gets the urge that she better answer this call. So she does.

Tobin answers, Tobin speaks, Tobin listens, Tobin drops the phone, and then Tobin sprints out the door. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘How? How do you tell someone they just lost their significant other? How do you inform someone they just lost their unborn child? How do you notify someone that their entire world has been stopped, shaken, and shattered into a million pieces? How will they let Tobin know?’ Christen wonders. 

She doesn’t know where she is; she can’t see anything but a black abyss. She can’t hear expect for faint noises almost like muffled beeps and shouts. They sound far away, distant. Christen tries to speak, but nothing comes out. She smells no smells. She can feel, however. Of course she can feel of all the sensations the human body has to offer. 

The green-eyed woman can feel the thick, hot blood running down the side of her face. The intense throbbing and heavy pressure she feels coming from directly above her left eye is where she guesses the blood is pouring out from. That pain is miniscule to the pain originating from her entire right mid-section. Christen knows what a broken bone feels like as she has dealt with them all too often from an opponent who got a bit too rough. But this pain goes unmatched. Everything on the right side of her abdomen feels like it has been set on fire. A fire that is burning and shows no sign on mercy. She feels her arm stretching out in a direction it is not meant to go and she feels major swelling in her lower extremities. 

So she knows she is not in good shape. And this is why she ponders these questions in her head. She is left in her black, silent abyss of excruciating pain and endless thoughts. Christen doesn’t know if her baby is okay and that to her is the most terrifying factor in all of this. She can deal with physical pain, but she isn’t ready to accept an emotional pain originating from grief. She isn’t worried about her own well-being, she is only worried about her body taking care of her and Tobin’s unborn child. She just wishes she could tell what was going on.

She remembers walking to her car after the youth development practice, walking as fast as a 33-week pregnant woman could possibly walk. Or waddle really. She recalls hustling in order to get back to her wife at home so they could have their much anticipated night just relaxing and enjoying a home cooked meal. Christen then remembers the peculiar sound of a man yelling. Not as if it he was yelling in glee or in fear, but as if his voice was dripping in desperation. The mournful sound of an unfamiliar voice is the last thing she recollects.

Suddenly, thankfully, Christen is pulled from her string of thoughts as she feels a new material surrounding her. This material feels like hotel bed sheets, she thinks. Those fresh and clean white linens that she has come way too familiar with while traveling for soccer over the years. 

And then the dull shouting and beeping she continues to hear becomes a little clearer. She feels something close around her mouth and nose. She feels herself inhale for what seems to be the first time in ages. The sweet oxygen flows to her lungs. Each breath sweeter than the last. And then she feels a prick in her forearm. And then Christen feels her black abyss slowing begin to fade away, her strength to form and process her thoughts slipping. Her mind flashes to Tobin. 

She really wishes Tobin was here. And she really wishes she knew Baby Heath was safe. 

And then Christen’s mind goes blank.


	6. Chapter 6

Tobin rushes into Providence Portland Medical Center. She doesn’t have much information; the only think she’s been told is that Christen was in a car accident and she needed to get to this hospital immediately. They didn’t care to mention what state she was in specifically, just that she was being taken by ambulance after being in a severe car accident. She spins around in the middle of the spacious lobby looking for a sign that tells her where to go to get to Christen. After realizing she doesn’t have the first clue of where to go, she heads straight to the front desk.

“H-hi, my name is Tobin Heath. I need-“ Tobin shakily begins.

The bright-eyed young woman behind the desk immediately looks up once Tobin says her own name aloud. Clearly not recognizing the intense look of agony on Tobin’s face, the woman cuts her off.

“Tobin Heath! Oh my gosh I am your biggest fan! I come to every home game and I’ve even gotten my picture with you a few times. Hey, what are you even doing here?” she finally asks.

“My wife, Christen, where is she?” she pleads. 

“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry you should’ve cut me off sooner. Let me check.” The woman proceeds to type in a few different keys into the screen and then with sympathetic eyes looks back at Tobin. 

She says, “Christen was taken into surgery. I don’t know many details, it appears she was taken in upon arrival. It says it will be a few hours, maybe 4-5, before the surgery will be over. Let me get someone to take you to the waiting room and to inform you more than I can about her current state.”

“And do you know about the baby?” Tobin whispers.

The couple still has yet to announce the pregnancy publicly. Even though Christen is 33 weeks along, the only people who know about the child are close family and friends and anyone who recognized her while they were out in the town and clearly recognized a baby growing. So she registers the look of surprise on the woman’s face when she asks her this.

Looking back at the computer screen the receptionist says, “It does say here that Christen and the baby had a pulse, but that is all I know.”

A pulse. Two pulses. Tobin sees this as a good start. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up yet. She just wants this nightmare to be over with. The love of her life and her baby are in surgery. She has no clue how bad the injuries are, but hearing 5-6 hours’ worth of surgery can’t be good. As much as she wants to run into the operating room and hold her wife’s hand, she knows all she can do now is play the waiting game. An older man in scrubs comes over and takes her by the arm. She doesn’t have the energy to ask why or where they are going, she is just putting her trust in him to get her a little bit closer to Christen. 

They walk down many hallways, take several different turns, and then they reach a room. Tobin is confused when they walk inside and he sits her down in a chair. She’s confused because usually a hospital room for patients have a bed in them. This one is empty. 

The man notices the confusion and says, “This is the room they will be bringing Christen into after surgery. It will still be awhile. But while we wait let me tell you what’s going on …” 

 ______________________________________________________________________________________

Slumped in her chair, Tobin continues to watch the seconds tick by on the clock. Her mind is mush. She can’t think about anything but Christen and their baby. She’s been at this for 7 hours now. Thinking about the car crash and all it did to her wife. Christen suffered a broken radius, a deep gash her left eyebrow that required 26 stitches, and every single muscle in her abdomen on her right side was torn. All because a man’s brakes went out in his car. That’s what else makes these seconds tick by so slowly. There really isn’t anyone to blame. She can’t fault a man for something he can’t control. 

They say the surgery was taking so long because they had to reconstruct her arm. And they say the baby is healthy and Christen will make a full recovery. It will take time of course, but she will heal. All of that should bring peace to Tobin’s mind but she needs to see and touch and hold her wife to believe it. She just wants some confirmation. She needs to see her wife.

Tick, tick, tick. The clock keeps going around. Tobin shuts her eyes as she listens to the continuous rhythm. It brings her no peace. 

Several minutes later of listening to the clock, the repetitive ticking is interrupted with a knock on the door. The door then swings open and several nurses usher in her sedated wife. Tobin stands back in shock. She doesn’t move, she doesn’t blink. She just watches quietly as the nurses maneuver around her and get Christen situated. Once she is settled, one of the women comes over to Tobin and give her several instructions. It’s apparent she knows Tobin isn’t really comprehending what she is saying, so she writes down information on the white board hanging from the wall. They leave the room and Tobin is finally left with her wife.

She has been thinking about this moment for the past several hours now, but know that the time has come to actually be with Christen the brunette seems frozen in place. She takes in all the wires hooked up to the woman snoozing away, the way her arm really isn’t too straight with all the metal surrounding it, and the cut above her eye. She then remembers the baby bump and her mind starts to work. What about the baby? She can physically see and hear that Christen is alive and breathing, but how is she supposed to know the same about the baby in her wife’s stomach! 

Tobin finally jumps into action and goes to call the nurse back in the room. Before she hits the call button she reads the note the nurse left on the board. Almost as if she knew what Tobin would think, it reads, “The baby is perfectly healthy. And so is your wife. It will take time, but relax and just be with them for now. I’ll be back soon to check on you all. If you need anything, just call.”

Tobin lets out a sigh of relief that she knows has been building within her throughout the night. She walks over to the bedside and looks over the woman who knows her all too well. Even in her current state, Tobin honestly still thinks Christen is the most beautiful woman she has ever seen. She takes Christen’s good hand and brings it to her lips for a soft kiss. She doesn’t know what is ahead of them, but she does know that her wife and baby are now safe and sound. Whatever is thrown at them from here on out, they can take it on together. 

“I’m so happy you can back to me, baby,” Tobin whispers, “You really gave me a scare there.”

Tobin cries her first tears of the night with the three of them finally in the same room and a safety blanket having been tossed over them as Christen and the baby are recovering. 

As the tears run down her cheeks, she feels movement from Christen’s hand. A gentle squeeze. Tobin looks up to Christen to see if she has woken, but she is only met with a sleepy, soft face. Until she completely wakes up, Tobin will be more than content to sit here holding Christen’s hand watching her sleep. And that’s what she does through the rest of the night. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

Christen wakes up and immediately thinks, ‘Well where the hell am I?’

But then, of all the feelings she could possibly register in her current state, she feels the familiar comfort of Tobin’s hand in hers. She rolls her head over to find the rest of Tobin, sitting in a chair with a worried look on her face. It’s this that brings Christen to her new reality. 

‘Okay, well I’m definitely in the hospital. Why am I in the hospital? Did I have the baby?! Hmm, I don’t see a baby anywhere and I think I would’ve remembered labor. But I can’t feel anything on my body at all.’ Christen is trapped in her thoughts.

She rolls her head to the other side of her body and that is when she sees it. 

‘So I became a transformer? What the heck is my arm doing with all this metal??’

Tobin awakes at this moment to find Christen with a very puzzled- rightfully so- look on her face. She squeezes her hand to get her wife’s attention. When Christen’s eyes meet Tobin’s, Tobin knows those green eyes will always be her forever, no matter what life throws their way. Seeing her wife actually awake and responsive is like coming home. They will be okay and they will make the most of this situation together. One day at a time. 

But first, Tobin has a lot of explaining to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Now that Christen is in her 39th week of pregnancy, Tobin knows the baby could come any day. She had planned to get the crib ready before now, but an unexpected car crash decided to present itself. That’s why now, with her pregnant, recuperating wife resting downstairs on the couch, Tobin is putting together the crib in the soft yellow nursery. Well, attempting to at least. Of course, Christen would pick out the most difficult crib to assemble. But even Tobin has to admit the crib will be adorable once she can figure out how to put it altogether. 

When Tobin becomes frustrated yet again with her lack of progress, she checks the time on her phone. It reads 11:07pm. She realizes she’s been working on the baby’s bed for nearly four hours, with not much to show for it. Tobin decides to call it a night and go check up on her sleeping wife downstairs. 

She uncovers herself from her blanket of instruction manuals and begins to walk out of the nursery. Before she does, she looks back into the peaceful room. The nursery is lined with children’s books, soft throws, children’s toys, and cute décor of zebras, hippos, giraffes, and other safari animals in cartoon form. It’s really come together to be such an inviting and cozy space, again all thanks to Christen. Christen has an impeccable eye for decorating. With the accident and her torso still extremely sore, she can’t really do much at the moment in terms of moving around. The pain of tearing multiple muscles in your abdomen is excruciating, but luckily Christen is well on her way to recovering after being still for several weeks. The mandatory stillness however led to Christen developing a habit of online shopping. As crazy as it drove Tobin at the time, she is really appreciative of her habit now that she’s put the nursery together. Except for the crib in shambles on the floor. That’s when Tobin rolls her eyes and finally continues her journey downstairs. 

When Tobin reaches the bottom of the stairs, she sees Maverick and Christen in a… stare down? They are both sitting on the couch and it seems that Christen is whispering something to the dog as they both stare intently at each other. 

“Um, am I interrupting something here?” Tobin quietly speaks up as she walks over to the living room and gently plops down on the couch to join the trio. 

Christen gently laughs. “Yes, actually. I was just explaining to our puppy here that he will not be the only baby in the house anymore. He needs to be a good big brother and take care of our little Baby Heath.”

“Ahhh, I see. You know, I forgot to let you know something about Baby Heath that I found out at the hospital while you were in surgery,” Tobin responds. Immediately Tobin knows she should not have introduced the information like that when Christen’s eyes open wide automatically. 

“It’s nothing bad!!! The baby is healthy!” Tobin practically falls over herself before she can worry her wife anymore. This girl has been to hell and back and she’s already in enough pain. Tobin doesn’t want her to get the wrong idea.

“TOBIN! Geez, are you trying to scare me into labor?” Christen complains. 

Sheepishly, Tobin leans over and kisses Christen on her new scar near her eyebrow. “Sorry babe, I just kind of forgot with everything going on what the doctors told me until just now when you said Baby Heath. And then I got excited to tell you! Poor delivery on my part. I’m sorry.”

Christen can’t ever be mad at Tobin when she looks at her with those big brown eyes. Those eyes are what made her fall in love with the girl in the first place anyways. Plus, kissing her on her scar has become a new thing for them. Ever since Christen first saw the stitches and then the pretty big scar after the stitches were removed, she’s been very self-conscious about her appearance. Tobin has really helped in boosting her self-confidence. Yes, the scar is bigger than she would like it to be, but Tobin continually insists that it makes her look tough and sexy. To get Christen to understand this notion, Tobin began to gently kiss it in the hospital to show that not only does it not bother her, but that Tobin genuinely likes the scar. She hasn’t stopped kissing it since. 

So, Christen takes a deep breath and then exhales slowly, trying to calm her heartbeat while wincing through the pain of breathing with that much air expanding her muscles. 

“It’s okay, but now I need you to elaborate. What do you mean we don’t have to call our baby that anymore?” Christen questions. 

“Well, when you were back in one of your many operations for your arm, the pediatric doctor we were working with stopped by to see me. And well… she told me the gender of our baby. I had told her when I first consulted with her that me nor you knew the gender. I even said we were waiting until the actual birth of the baby to find out. But I guess she forgot and let the pronoun slip when we were discussing details about your state and the pregnancy.” Tobin explains. 

“Tobin! How in the world did you ‘forget’ to run this news by me? This is huge!” Christen exclaims. 

Tobin nearly rolls her eyes, but she refrains. “For one, my WIFE was kind of in pain and needed to be taken care of. And two, she told me this the day after your accident. So I had bigger things on my mind like the overall health of you two. I honestly just recalled the slip up just now!”

Christen doesn’t really blame Tobin for putting that information in the back of her brain for the past several weeks. To be honest, Tobin has been Christen’s rock the past few weeks. Generally speaking, Tobin is Christen’s rock anyways. But the past several weeks that term has been given a new meaning. Christen literally would not have survived without Tobin by her side. Tobin has been such a stellar wife in taking care of her, being a source of security, and a constant reminder of their unshakeable love. She’s never left her side through the weeks of the aftermath. Her wife has been a positive caretaker, a bearer of Christen’s frustration, and has continued to be her reason to laugh. And Tobin never complained once about having to take care of her. To Christen, Tobin has been the reason she was able to get through this rocky part in her life. Without her, Christen would have probably given up. It’s been a dark time for her. And she doesn’t usually outwardly show her emotions. Any other person would have probably believed that Christen was fine to take care of herself and was fine mentally after a week or so. But her wife knows her better. Christen couldn’t be more thankful of such an understanding and loving wife.

So, she knows she took a toll on Tobin. Due to both the injury and the pregnancy. It’s not fair to blame her for not sharing this information when she’s been busy with her and the baby. 

“Well then would you care to let me into what we are having Mrs. Heath,” Christen gently says as she looks into the eyes of the woman she loves with everything she has to give.

Tobin smiles, “We are having a baby boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I promise all sad times are in the past now.


	8. Chapter 8

Christen walks to the nursery and settles against the frame of the door when she looks into the warm, cozy yellow room. In the far corner, Tobin is rocking back and forth in the rocking chair that was a gift to them from her mom and dad. Maverick's head is resting on Tobin's knee and looks up at his new baby brother with eyes that show affection and love. It's humorous to Christen how much she can tell the puppy loves his new baby brother. 

Zeke Alexander Heath is sleeping soundly in Tobin's arms. Christen recollects the moment they picked out the name for their baby after Tobin finally told her they were having a little boy. They had been sitting on the sofa downstairs going through baby name books for hours. With their respective books, they had both gotten to the last letter of the alphabet when they simultaneously said the name 'Zeke.' As if that wasn't a big enough sign, Christen read the meaning of the name aloud.

"The name Zeke is a Hebrew baby name meaning 'God strengthens.'" They immediately shared a look that was nothing short of confirmation. The baby's first name had to be Zeke. With Tobin's wishes of it being a biblical name and Christen wanting the name to be a bit different but have a strong meaning, it was the perfect fit. They both felt that with everything that had happened through the pregnancy with Zeke, through God's strength they were able to get through. As for the middle name, they felt it was only appropriate to name the baby after someone who helped them through all their struggles. Allie Long had never left their side. When she heard the news, she made sure to call Alex Morgan and let her know the middle name was only reserved for her. 

Stepping back into reality, Christen walks over to Tobin and stands behind the rocking chair to look over Tobin's shoulder at Zeke. Even after two months of having a new life revolving around this precious baby, Christen still can't believe he is her and Tobin's child. 

She thinks they have adjusted to this new life pretty well. Just like when her and Tobin moved in together for the first time, everything seems to just fit. They get into a routine and it's all so easy going after a week or two. The same can be said for when they adopted a puppy, moved to a new state, officially became a married couple, and now having a child together. The two really couldn't imagine doing life with someone else because it is just so perfect and easy when they are together. 

Tobin finally takes her eyes off the baby boy snoozing away and looks up to Christen. Christen registers wet eyelashes and a single tear falling down her cheek.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Christen knows her wife very well, so she is pretty sure she knows what her wife is crying about. In fact, she almost had some tears well up while looking at the child. 

Tobin sighs, "I'm just so thankful to have this life I have. For a while there, right after the accident, I didn't know if you were going to be okay. I honestly don't know what I would have done if you weren't okay Chris."

Christen moves so she is now in front of the chair and resting on her own knees on the floor right in front of Tobin. 

"Hey.. it's okay. I'm here, we got through it," Christen is sure to stay quiet not to wake up Zeke. 

"I know, but still. When I was in the hospital and I was just waiting for the first news about you, all I could dream about was this right here. I imagined us in this room with our baby happy and healthy. I didn't know if was going to come true or not, but yet here we are. I'm just so thankful the both of you are healthy." Tobin takes in a deep breath.

"I know what you mean babe. We can finally shed some happy tears again," Christen whispers as she leans in to give Zeke a kiss on the forehead and a sound kiss to Tobin, the two people she couldn't imagine her life without.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that is the end! Sorry for the longer times in between updates. But I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought, hopefully I ended the story favorably!


End file.
